That helped
Well weekend I think helped me sort some shit out. I think I really got it figured out this time. Lots of thinking. And so I open my blog again to... the one for sure, and maybe one other reader out there.
I can't write to myself. It's weird. It's much easier to write as if I'm explaining something to someone. In my head it just works better. Like I'm giving a speech. I don't know it's weird. Maybe you guys understand. It's like how Charlie in "Wallflower" had to write letters. Diaries are too private. I like knowing that my writing will be read. I'm glad I can entertain some people's lives with all the thoughts that go through my head. I wish I could find someone to debate with. An argument for arguing sake. No harm, no foul. Just to see who has the stronger theory by word.
I want to talk to someone who I can talk to about "Wallflower." Funny how I don't see the need to take out "who I can talk to." The "want to talk" noun seems like it's just anyone and "who I can talk to" is someone who read the book and got the similar feelings to me. Someone who feel as if... the book has become a part of them. This was the same as "The Alchemist" for me. That gave me a message of omens and signs. "Wallflower" gave me a message of what love really should be.
Had a talk with a good friend. Gave me some insight and as always, the best advice is always simple.
Smoked some bud for the first time in about two months or so. I remember why I didn't really like it. I get too paranoid. I get the worse paranoia on weed. This is however, the most inspiring drug. When I think about my potential future in terms of finding my passions, it's very easy to figure out what my passions are. The good feeling of knowing that you are so curious towards a subject. I've felt this towards psychology, English, marketing to a lesser degree, philosophy, and in hobbies mainly creative outlets. Things like graffiti, street art, stencils, and drawing. My major is still up in the air but I plan on pursuing my hobbies when I have more time on my hands.
///DEPRESSION
I thought I was slipping into a bit of depression again. I could just feel it grip me this whole weekend. Expecting to go to Dayglow, but ended up being a fail. I was pretty bummed out b/c I just needed a night to just party some stress out. It didn't happen and I'm kinda glad I didn't go. Actually, I would have rather gone, it sounded like too much fun haha. Maybe next time.
One of the greatest different perception on life since the summer is on "everyday" occurrences and challenges. Nowadays, I see good things that happen to me and recognize them as a sign of good things to come. When I see challenge, I try to tackle it to my best ability. I thought for a little bit that the wave of depression that hit me was going to stay. I didn't change at all. But after just a few hours of pouting I was fine. Everything was sunshine and lollipops the next morning. Crazy thing is, I've done this since I knew this when I was a kid but I forgot that a good sleep ends any anger or sadness. I would always tell my parents if I was angry at them or Noona to just, "let me sleep." Because I knew that when I woke up, I wouldn't be angry. Hahahahaha now that I think about it. This one time. I was really mad at my mom. I was SOOOO angry that I had decided to write on a little sheet of paper next to my alarm clock saying, "stay mad at umma." Hahaha my mom saw it and she thought it was the cutest thing because I couldn't help but just love her again the next morning.
...
Life used to be so simple.
-update
lol the tags on this don't look very optimistic. i'll throw another one in there...
I can't write to myself. It's weird. It's much easier to write as if I'm explaining something to someone. In my head it just works better. Like I'm giving a speech. I don't know it's weird. Maybe you guys understand. It's like how Charlie in "Wallflower" had to write letters. Diaries are too private. I like knowing that my writing will be read. I'm glad I can entertain some people's lives with all the thoughts that go through my head. I wish I could find someone to debate with. An argument for arguing sake. No harm, no foul. Just to see who has the stronger theory by word.
I want to talk to someone who I can talk to about "Wallflower." Funny how I don't see the need to take out "who I can talk to." The "want to talk" noun seems like it's just anyone and "who I can talk to" is someone who read the book and got the similar feelings to me. Someone who feel as if... the book has become a part of them. This was the same as "The Alchemist" for me. That gave me a message of omens and signs. "Wallflower" gave me a message of what love really should be.
Had a talk with a good friend. Gave me some insight and as always, the best advice is always simple.
Smoked some bud for the first time in about two months or so. I remember why I didn't really like it. I get too paranoid. I get the worse paranoia on weed. This is however, the most inspiring drug. When I think about my potential future in terms of finding my passions, it's very easy to figure out what my passions are. The good feeling of knowing that you are so curious towards a subject. I've felt this towards psychology, English, marketing to a lesser degree, philosophy, and in hobbies mainly creative outlets. Things like graffiti, street art, stencils, and drawing. My major is still up in the air but I plan on pursuing my hobbies when I have more time on my hands.
///DEPRESSION
I thought I was slipping into a bit of depression again. I could just feel it grip me this whole weekend. Expecting to go to Dayglow, but ended up being a fail. I was pretty bummed out b/c I just needed a night to just party some stress out. It didn't happen and I'm kinda glad I didn't go. Actually, I would have rather gone, it sounded like too much fun haha. Maybe next time.
One of the greatest different perception on life since the summer is on "everyday" occurrences and challenges. Nowadays, I see good things that happen to me and recognize them as a sign of good things to come. When I see challenge, I try to tackle it to my best ability. I thought for a little bit that the wave of depression that hit me was going to stay. I didn't change at all. But after just a few hours of pouting I was fine. Everything was sunshine and lollipops the next morning. Crazy thing is, I've done this since I knew this when I was a kid but I forgot that a good sleep ends any anger or sadness. I would always tell my parents if I was angry at them or Noona to just, "let me sleep." Because I knew that when I woke up, I wouldn't be angry. Hahahahaha now that I think about it. This one time. I was really mad at my mom. I was SOOOO angry that I had decided to write on a little sheet of paper next to my alarm clock saying, "stay mad at umma." Hahaha my mom saw it and she thought it was the cutest thing because I couldn't help but just love her again the next morning.
...
Life used to be so simple.
-update
lol the tags on this don't look very optimistic. i'll throw another one in there...
Comments
Post a Comment