mac's cheesy thoughts

I've had a few things REALLY bugging me that I know I'm terrible at. The biggest problem is my procrastination. Some people think theirs is bad but man, mine is fucking terrible. I will wait until the last two hours of a test to even start studying for it at all. Sometimes I don't even study for it because I'm just that lazy. It frustrates the hell out of me that I can't pull a Nike and "Just Do It." I've been trying to mash that into my head and it's been working a little better but man my procrastination is so bad that this is going to be one of the biggest challenges of my life. I just do not know how to be productive. Well, I do, I just can't get myself to get up and do things. I'll have a whole day planned out but in the end I'll do nothing because I got too comfortable sitting in front of my laptop. In my head I'm telling myself, "okay just ten more minutes then I'll head out." It never happens. I suppose some do...

///DREAM Had two separate dreams today cuz I woke up for about thirty minutes before going back to sleep. In the first one I think the setting was like a big Counter-Strike map. I had gotten to a spot like an auditorium and there were three seats behind me. Also, on the ground in front of me were these flowers that would bloom if I touched them at all. There were about five or six of them and I touched them all. Three random people sat in three seats behind me and sat down. While I picked off a flower and stuck it on a stick, I threw it at one of them. They thanked me and went on their way. At this point, I went to the top of a building after running through some automatic doors and such to reach the BFG or whatever it was. I got there and someone had already taken it. I took out my Halo Carbine I think and shot him down. Just like in video games, he dropped the gun once I got him and I picked it up. I felt very powerful with it muahaha.  Story 1 the en...

///DREAM too lazy to write much so dream, yesterday, company house, tony, david, jackie, chefs, jackie was acting funny and walking around like a fool. i walked into a shower room that looked abandoned like the ones in fallout 3. today, shit i forgot. um. whatever wasn't cool anyway.

Poop I have no dream at all to recollect this day. I'm starting to tumblr too much I think. It's too easy to just jot down whatever I was thinking about and post it in a very brief and concise couple sentences. I need to blog more so I can elaborate more on the thoughts that I have so I can define them more clearly. I also feel like tumblr is dumbing me down a bit hahaha but that was to be expected by any quick-humor site like that. Love how I can always just log on there and have some laughs. It's like my laugh machine. Laughlaughahalalamooharrr. Ten minutes to work... and then thirteen hours until it's over. NOOOOOOOOOOO

///DREAM Had a dream tonight about something that continued the of something that happened to me in real life. This is real life, I lost my hat at Tae's place despite looking for it. I know it was in there. Dream life, I had gone back there to look for it and they gave me a hat but it wasn't mine. I got really angry because I thought they were keeping the hat from me for whatever reason. So, I decided to go into Tae's room and look for it and ended up inside a secret room within his closet that led had a bunch of bowls, bongs, and whatnot. I took a piece that was $80 and went outside with that fake hat. I threw it at them because I was angry and I remember Rachel Chiang, James Oh, and some other people were around where I threw it. They kinda flipped their shit, I flipped my shit, blah blah blah. I think this is the first angry dream I've ever had. It was not fun. I woke and I could feel my heart burning with this false hatred. It sucked. Anger dreams and throw-up...

///DREAM I wish I wrote my dream down earlier... I forgot everything from it. it was a pretty good one too. oh well, my loss :( hmmmm I was running away from a group of people with a girl, maybe it was sharon? I feel like it was but I also feel like it wasn't. meh. we were running away in a building with a lot of floors and we either had a chance of running down the hall or using the emergency exit. the girl chose the hall and I busted out the emergency exit and basically jumped out the window. this saved us in the end. that's all I remember. hopefully ill remember more of this dream soon. ill remember more if I can get more pieces of the puzzle of my dream. it was pretty action packeedddd

///DREAM tonight had a dream where I was working in good o' bee bong. followed around laura yu because she was carrying a phone and wallet that intrigued me. she dropped it off at a hidden sppot and walked away. my mom was also after it but I got it first. I picked it up and hid it away from others. there was an invoice on there with a bunch of inventory a customer was buying. the customer was the cute couple from kiku I see here and there. when it came time to checkout I said I wouldn't give them the invoice unless I got a krystal's burger which I did end up getting. bryson had brought it over. I was really stressed bc I never got things my way. I found the invoice and it came out to be about $1500. my mom gave a discount of about $160. bryson, laura, the couple, my mom, and my sister were part of this dream. the next dream was at a georgia tech tailgate. started inside of an apartment with a couple people but I only remember allen lim. I went outside with the big tailga...

1. Utah - Bryce Canyon 2. California - Salton Sea I'll add to this later. Just had to remind myself about the Salton Sea. Life is good. It could always be better but I'm content right now. Not much really bothers me. I figure to change my major to psychology. Do I really want to? I think so. I'm a bit afraid of how far I've come in terms of happiness right now. I know life is just a series of ups and downs. Scared for the next down... I'm working on building up some long-term goals for myself so that I always have something to work for and look forward to. Constant self-improvement, learning to meditate maybe, etc. Things that never cease to amaze me every day:    Clouds    Music    Life    Breathing    Love   

Sometimes I wonder if I should tell the people whom I call my closest friends that I've done somewhat hard drugs over the summer. I'm not really sure how they would react. I feel like I should tell them because I have changed a lot for the better. Maybe they would be scared for me. I don't think I would want them to be unnecessarily worried. I'm starting to get worried about whether my short-term memory was affected by Molly. We'll see. I'll definitely stay away from it for now because I'm not liking not having my short term memory right now. I made a pact to myself that if I noticed any adverse affects on my mind then I would abstain. Most research I see on the internet seems to say that staying away for a while will give my brain time to recover and will return my short term memory. My memory isn't that bad but there are times when I just don't remember something that just happened. Anyway, I don't need drugs to feel the love anymore :) Luc...

///DREAM 11/6 at sam kangs with workers, mchoi sang a singalong  everyone kknew. it was epic. went swimming to other side climbing rocks i and few others followed, swam inside but got turned away  bc lifeguard was guarding the  big dropoff, i argued  that we floated, forgot phone was in my pocket. poncho was eating a jumbo chili dog. copy pasted this from some quick notes I made on my phone. surprising how quickly I forget a pretty vivid dream. 11/7 was in a small town in south america or something, was driving to georgia but somehow ended up driving into north and south carolina. didnt want to but it was a one way road going down a huge hill. at the bottom i saw some black rhasta dude in the same position as me except he had to walk. i offered to drive him up the side road back up top. the side road was straight but was also very dark. when i turned on the headlights it was just a really bright single light. ended up having to run over zombies and such. th...

///DREAM Had a pretty lengthy dream today but I can't exactly remember too much of it because I waited a while to put this up. I was standing out on a porch and there was a big ant. Maybe five times bigger than a regular ant. My friend got scared of it, jumped, and ran away from it. Later, a scorpion came by and attacked the ant and started to eat it. It was really... disturbing if anything. The scorpion stabbed it and started to eat the ant from the inside. The ant was in so much pain it started to scream. One of the most disturbing scenes I've had in my dreams ever. I can't remember anything more disturbing than this. Next morning, a couple of guys from the room next over stomped out the scorpion and swept up the remains of the scorpion and ant.