mac's cheesy thoughts

I have a looonnnggg way to go on my path to self-actualization...

Lately... I've been having this feeling as if I've lived a thousand lives. It's a strange one being "younger" than most and yet at the same time feeling so much older. I feel like I have the knowledge of so many past lives within me to draw from whenever I need to figure out how to handle a situation in the best possible way. Even knowing this, I feel I have so much untapped knowledge inside me. It's so exciting to see what the new day will bring, what new information, what new people, new sounds, new words, new sites I'll behold. It's like I'm in tune with the flow of everything. Now I have to see if I can maintain this and keep going on an upward spiral of growth. Went ahead and decided to forgo summer school and embark on a personal growth quest over the summer and I'd say I succeeded and it was much worth it. Very strongly realizing that eight hours of sleep, no more, no less, keeps me the happiest throughout the day. Also, drinking a nic...

///SUPPLEMENTS              I've been taking some supplements for myself to see how it could benefit me. No supplements for body building, I'd much rather stay natural on that and do my work through normal exercise and diet. I might get into an endless loop of never getting big enough. That's trailing off topic though. I've been taking Huperzine A (have I already said this before?) and Omega-3 oils. I can tell Huperzine A has definitely helped me a lot. Either I've learned a new way to simply be more conscious or this supplement did it. Probably a little bit of both. My memory seems much sharper when it comes to things. Once I commit something to memory it seems much easier to pull back up. I may be adding rhodiola soon to see if it makes me less stressful on a day to day basis. It supposedly causes serotonin to break down at a slower rate. On the fence on this one because anything that boosts my mood means that when I stop taking the supplement afte...

///LATE NIGHT        I wonder what it is about the late hours after midnight that makes me feel so insightful and at ease. Maybe it's because I'm a little bit delirious from keeping myself awake despite feeling my eyes feel heavy and tired, my body just slumping in my chair from fatigue, and my stomach grumbling for a fourth meal. I'm a person that likes to analyze people by their every action. I can't turn it off. So maybe, I'm so calm and at peace because if I can't turn myself off, I know everyone else is turned off in their sleep. Knowing that everyone is asleep it's just me and my immediate surroundings. I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out but I don't know why it is. Calm music just sounds better, makes me want to write, do something creative.        It's crazy how music affects a persons mood and energy so instantly. I don't think people realize it as much as they should. It's pretty obvious and most people will say tha...

Need to get back to where I was before. I feel like I lost the path I was on a few weeks ago of just fulfilling days. Need to put my life back in order before school starts or else I'm fucked. Currently having one of the most interesting/fulfilling conversations on Facebook right now. This guy is pretty much my guru hahahaha. I think I've just now realized that not only my mind and body are out of whack but my spirit was much more out of line than I thought it was. I think I've found the answer to getting my spirituality back up and well mind and body follows once I stop the drugs BAHAHAHAHA. Good thing my mind feels super guilty and keeps me from going too far.