mac's cheesy thoughts

///GROWING PAINS       Still getting over Allie a bit but it's mainly from thinking of how beautiful she is. We had a strong strong chemistry but some of our interests didn't line up. Main thing was music for me. She's also so young and I forget that sometimes. God, how pathetic am I to express myself in such a way. I'm so grateful she is a good listener. She doesn't just throw anyone off to the wayside or make them feel uncomfortable. More than her beauty, her ability to listen was just incredibly sexy.  It's unfortunate I found this out while I was confessing things to her. Man, I did some fucked up things while I was fucked up. A large chunk of my feelings are gone towards her but I still feel a tug here and there. I'm surprised at how quickly I was able to shake it off.  Erin took me months and months. Is this because I know what it feels like and am better prepared to let go or is it because Allie's listening helped out so much. [man, i need to ...

k so here i am. current objective shit is that i was drunk and very much afflicted and currently afflicted by allie janho. still hurts myself to even say that but erin jenkins. also a girl i had strong feeling for before but less as much so at this point. jesus i'm fucked up. allie was beautiful and the potential to know what she would become, jesus, is just ridiculous. i just gotta let her go. i understand how cosmic everything is. i've gotta figure my own shit out and just express through photography. this pain i feel right now is also energy and a reason to fill it. who else is looking for answer at this age as i am?