mac's cheesy thoughts

You are only old when you stop learning. Age does not matter, as long as you continue to learn you will never reach full maturity. Every day you learn something new is the best you. You will never be as young as you are now nor older. Do things that are new, don't stop learning. A study shows that 42% of students never read another book after they finish college. That is just baffling. Why stop learning after you finish college? The real fun begins after college. Do you stop playing after a game of Starcraft and click "End Game?" You're lame, the real fun is if you continue and just keep going. I wrote this for you Chris.

Eskimo: Would I go to hell if I didn't know about Jesus? Missionary: Of course not. Eskimo: Then why did you tell me?

I've realized over the past couple weeks that money is much better spent on experiences and moments over material items. I plan on saving up to do some crazy shit over this and next year. “Look at you. You’re young. And you’re scared. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed. Stop swallowing your words. Stop caring what other people think. Wear what you want. Say what you want. Listen to the music you want to listen to. Play it loud as fuck and dance to it. Go out for a drive at midnight and forget that you have school the next day. Stop waiting for Friday. Live now. Do it now. Take risks. Tell secrets. This life is yours. When are you going to realize that you can do whatever you want?” “Look at you. You’re young. And you’re scared. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed. Stop swallowing your words. Stop caring what other people think. Wear what you want. Say what you want. Listen to the music you want to listen to. Play it loud as fuck and dance to it. Go out for a drive ...

///DREAM March 11, 2011 I was too lazy to write about my dream when it was still relatively fresh. I took some quick notes on my phone but it seems very fuzzy now. Yeah, I don't remember jack shit. Here's what I had on my notes. At Gamestop and there were three different girls everytime I went there. They were all from my Spanish class. Some Korean newspaper, selling games, organizing CD's, an old house, parking weird, and saw their mom. None of it makes sense haha.

WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR ME TO SHOW SOME EMOTION? WHAT AM I SO AFRAID OF? I HAVE ALL THESE EMOTIONS INSIDE ME BUT I CAN'T LET IT OUT. CRYING, I CAN'T DO A THING, NOT EVEN A HUG, AN "IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY," OR EVEN AN "I'M SORRY." i'm pathetic

"The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!...

Quick rundown. Athens, cop at uturn, no arrest, false awakening, blogging with weird lang, vacuum cathos, dog fell, dog climbed, was working at kiku, someone was being unruly, yelled at them, paid, they left So I'm updating this a couple days after but since I wrote down a quick summary I still grasp main parts of my dream. The emotional link to this day's dream isn't as strong but I still remember. I was in Athens and driving down 316 when I made a U-turn and a cop followed behind me. I remember being afraid because I'm on probation but he didn't arrest me. Why should he anyway? Can't be arrested for a traffic violation unless you have a warrant out for you. Summary says I had a false awakening and blogged about something but I remember nothing of that. I do remember vacuuming at Catherine's place and I pushed a dog over and it fell from the second floor. It was lying on the floor dead and everyone was saying how it wasn't moving. Nobody suspected me fo...

First off, I'm diggin' most of Lupe's new songs on his "Lasers" album. Some of them are lame but maybe they'll grow on me. Second, the odd thing about the music that puts me in the mood to think seriously is the same music that can put me into the state of feeling lonely. Since I love thinking about serious topics like life, mysteries of the universe, and where we came from, it's annoying when I start to feel pretty lonely. Maybe it's a feeling of feeling so small and... what's the word... eff there's a word for it but I can't remember right now and it's gonna bug me but I digress. Yes, digress, I'm cool like that. I want something, so bad, but this is not something I can have whenever.

///DREAM Let's see... brief summary before I forget everything. Zombies, lady, alligator, hallways, restart, and video game. Basically I was in some sort of town where there were people and there was a zombie outbreak to be due. I have lots of these zombie dreams and they're usually fun. It was like I was in a video game, specifically an RPG. I went into a bar and met some white lady and had a few drinks with her. She said to meet back at the bar at 1 A.M. the next day and I knew that she meant after the zombie outbreak. Never did end up meeting her back up in the dream. After the bar, I went outside and it was daytime. There was some freaky humanoid animal zombie out there. First it had an alligator head, then a bear, then a dog or something. Then It had an alligator head, a bear's head for a hand, and a dog head for an arm. It was very cartoony. I ran around and eventually just picked up some metal bar to fight with. Killed a few zombies and tried to find a saf...

In today's episode of my dream I remember the date was some time around November 1st, I had about $400 dollars, and I was with Albert Kang and Janos to begin with. Albert was nominated to go onto some sort of game show up in Toronto, Ontario. Albert asked me and Janos to go up with him and I got my money and went up to Toronto. When we arrived I got a new sort of driver's license and was happy because I wouldn't have to get another one later. I watched a video on where to go to get the best one. Later, I asked Albert when his show was and he told me November 18th. I was like what the fuck? because I had school in between. We stayed at some cabin place and for some reason Albert Park and Paul Choi were there. They wanted to hire some strippers hahaha. I used the "Places" app on my phone to indicate that I was in Toronto, Ontario. I ended up in some corporate looking building and walked around with Albert Kang.