Looper quick hits + random
awesome movie. love the dialog and the pacing was abso-fucking-lutely on point. even the 'slow' parts of the movie had me wanting more. actors were great. the kid was a big surprise.
loved the part of how Joe kinda saw into the future and saw how a circle repeats itself. it was up to him to stop that cycle. i love things that more clearly define and give me insight into a feeling i have and this was one of them. i been lately understanding that it's up to me to stop the cycles of anger and frustration especially since i know it's for the best and with my new thinking to take things in as if i've lived twice i got a bit of a trifecta going on. see deeply how a certain action will take different paths, see if i would regret acting or not acting, and choose to take the high road. incredibly difficult.
i have to think that Ego and Self (although i don't know the real definition of either i'm just going on how i perceive it) are interesting, obviously. my thinking is that Ego is your 'automatic' acting. that is when your consciousness isn't entirely there. just kind of on auto-pilot. Self is when you are actively conscious of your actions because you are in touch with everything, the flow, the vibes and energies in its entirety. it's fun how you can activate your Self to adjust your Ego. you set a goal and 'workout' that mental muscle to change it so that your Ego automatically does that action. i see it happen with me every now and then and just signals progress to me. progress is always good.
Sorrow is such a power entity. it isn't quite the same as sadness nor depression. i feel like sorrow is a state in which you are actively looking for positivity and it's a slow but steady climb out. it's a fight that takes you three steps forward and two steps back, one step forward three steps back, five steps forward one step back. a constant struggle but that slight optimism and positivity in a person's mind keeps them on a forward path with constant gains. eventually, you just look back a few months worth in time and just notice how much of a stark difference there has been. as much as sorrow sucks, i'm glad i've felt such a great amount and been able to climb my way out. drugs played a huge part. i'll get back to that later. fuck it i'll go there now.
drugs brought me out of such a depression i didn't even know i was in. so blind to my own actions that i didn't realize i was just a depressed person. molly showed me what it was like to be happy and lucy showed me what life is in the grand scheme of things. i took their lessons and simply put myself into the mindset i would be in if i was on the drugs so i pretty much don't need either to feel their lessons anymore. any use from here on feels purely recreational. which is no problem it's fun here and there and i know i can be responsible with it. anyway, i don't know what i would have done without these drugs. i shudder to think of what a sad life i would have lived had i not taken those drugs. i can pretty much see how i would have played games forever, never worked out, taken EVERYTHING for granted, and just been miserable. thank you drugs thank you. been sober for almost four months now except for alcohol and i feel fine. from now on you are only the champagne i pop to only the most monumental occasions.
what seemed like an unfortunate thing for me in my shyness and general lack of confidence has been a real boon. i've been forced to grow up as such an independent person and on a path that leads me to being my own person. seems pretty sad and lonely but i'm fine with it. i'll walk the earth alone and meet many people. i prefer being alone too much. nothing to hold me back and nothing tying me down. sure my loneliness grabs a hold of me every now and then but if i make friends i'll be okay. friends that want to do fun things. i'm tired of the same old same old.
when i think about my mind body and spirit i see how all of them are being tugged upwards towards growth. it's an amazing thing every day. blogging is helping i think. makes my accomplishments and mini-epiphanies more real and tangible. working out my legs and core many times a week fulfills my body growth. it also overlaps into my mind growth in being able to just push my mental mind further for 'just one more.' i'm always trying to test my mind by pushing myself to act out of my comfort zone and laziness mainly. man laziness is a helluva beast. but anyway, trying to break my lazy streak and to 'just do it' is something i want to achieve. most of it links with my spirit which is to just spread good vibes and energies everywhere i go. and to me, this the holy trinity.
damn i have a LOT to write about don't i...
loved the part of how Joe kinda saw into the future and saw how a circle repeats itself. it was up to him to stop that cycle. i love things that more clearly define and give me insight into a feeling i have and this was one of them. i been lately understanding that it's up to me to stop the cycles of anger and frustration especially since i know it's for the best and with my new thinking to take things in as if i've lived twice i got a bit of a trifecta going on. see deeply how a certain action will take different paths, see if i would regret acting or not acting, and choose to take the high road. incredibly difficult.
i have to think that Ego and Self (although i don't know the real definition of either i'm just going on how i perceive it) are interesting, obviously. my thinking is that Ego is your 'automatic' acting. that is when your consciousness isn't entirely there. just kind of on auto-pilot. Self is when you are actively conscious of your actions because you are in touch with everything, the flow, the vibes and energies in its entirety. it's fun how you can activate your Self to adjust your Ego. you set a goal and 'workout' that mental muscle to change it so that your Ego automatically does that action. i see it happen with me every now and then and just signals progress to me. progress is always good.
Sorrow is such a power entity. it isn't quite the same as sadness nor depression. i feel like sorrow is a state in which you are actively looking for positivity and it's a slow but steady climb out. it's a fight that takes you three steps forward and two steps back, one step forward three steps back, five steps forward one step back. a constant struggle but that slight optimism and positivity in a person's mind keeps them on a forward path with constant gains. eventually, you just look back a few months worth in time and just notice how much of a stark difference there has been. as much as sorrow sucks, i'm glad i've felt such a great amount and been able to climb my way out. drugs played a huge part. i'll get back to that later. fuck it i'll go there now.
drugs brought me out of such a depression i didn't even know i was in. so blind to my own actions that i didn't realize i was just a depressed person. molly showed me what it was like to be happy and lucy showed me what life is in the grand scheme of things. i took their lessons and simply put myself into the mindset i would be in if i was on the drugs so i pretty much don't need either to feel their lessons anymore. any use from here on feels purely recreational. which is no problem it's fun here and there and i know i can be responsible with it. anyway, i don't know what i would have done without these drugs. i shudder to think of what a sad life i would have lived had i not taken those drugs. i can pretty much see how i would have played games forever, never worked out, taken EVERYTHING for granted, and just been miserable. thank you drugs thank you. been sober for almost four months now except for alcohol and i feel fine. from now on you are only the champagne i pop to only the most monumental occasions.
what seemed like an unfortunate thing for me in my shyness and general lack of confidence has been a real boon. i've been forced to grow up as such an independent person and on a path that leads me to being my own person. seems pretty sad and lonely but i'm fine with it. i'll walk the earth alone and meet many people. i prefer being alone too much. nothing to hold me back and nothing tying me down. sure my loneliness grabs a hold of me every now and then but if i make friends i'll be okay. friends that want to do fun things. i'm tired of the same old same old.
when i think about my mind body and spirit i see how all of them are being tugged upwards towards growth. it's an amazing thing every day. blogging is helping i think. makes my accomplishments and mini-epiphanies more real and tangible. working out my legs and core many times a week fulfills my body growth. it also overlaps into my mind growth in being able to just push my mental mind further for 'just one more.' i'm always trying to test my mind by pushing myself to act out of my comfort zone and laziness mainly. man laziness is a helluva beast. but anyway, trying to break my lazy streak and to 'just do it' is something i want to achieve. most of it links with my spirit which is to just spread good vibes and energies everywhere i go. and to me, this the holy trinity.
damn i have a LOT to write about don't i...
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