What a conversation

///AFTER-SHIFT CONVERSATIONS
           So just ended a shift tonight (10/7/15) and we decided to go out for a bite to eat. I was just happy enough that Erin Jenkins (a lesbian, hot one at that ) was coming out to eat with us. Oh the pleasures of eye candy are just stupid. I see why the Halo Effect is so real. Anyway, I just expected it to be a simple night out with decent food and a few too many more than expected drinks. It was not. There were a couple we talked about that definitely rattled my spirit and thoughts. 
  1. Talking about dating a best friend, someone you've known your whole life. I'm currently going through this awkward thing of seeing Clara and texting her daily and just sharing music and such. This is cool y'know? She's definitely pretty and if I didn't know her beforehand I would definitely be incredibly infatuated by her. But I do know her and I'm not infatuated. Instead, it's just this weird thing of neither of us admitting it but maybe trying to feel each other out to see if it works. I've never been in a real long-term relationship but man this whole thing is just weird weird weird. We ended up talking about soulmates and who we were just abnormally comfortable with and the thought of Sharon popped into my head. She was just a perfect soul but I am admittedly pretty damn superficial in terms of looks/appearance. (It's terrible and I fucking hate it but goddamn I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to shake it). If I did confess my love and want an ultimatum from Sharon would I really be able to keep it? This whole thing is fucked. I have no idea what to do. Ah well, at least it's an interesting thing that I'm not too worried about. 
  2. Talked to Poor Calvin's Erin Jenkins and somehow the history of her having been molested as a child came up. This was incredibly surprising to me. I thought I would never have anyone to click with on this matter and goddamn what an insane taboo history to hear from someone else. Does it generate sympathy from others? Probably, but at the same time I bet it felt just as good for her to click with someone on this as much as it did for me. Would it be worth it to randomly bring it up to future people I have extensive and deep conversations with? Maybe. She said she has a sort of insecurity and shame she carries on in her life from the past which makes me wonder what exactly do I carry? I would definitely be a bit of a sex freak if I actually had a sex life that's for sure, but I don't so meh. 
What an interesting night. Now I go off and take a shower and wait 'til tomorrow night to have what I feel will be a "date" with Clara. Meep.

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