daily goals

been writing down my dreams pretty much every day now. found a very effective way to remember. used to be hard because i wouldnt want to get out of bed to write down my dream on my blog or w/e. i tried notebook but i found that it's very hard bc i don't wanna write shit after i wake up. so i downloaded a dream journal app. tried writing it down in there so that when i woke up i would have something right next to me. kinda worked, except the keyboard was too annoying, i was still tired when i woke up, and it was really hard to read later on. i really liked notebook because it was the easiest to read, safest, and it does feel nice to write. so now i'm using both the phone and notebook. when i happen to wake up and remember parts of my dream to turn right to my phone, type in some quick notes of what i remember from the dream and fall back asleep if im still tired. however, i'm learning that even though i have the notes in there, i still tend to lose the memory and visuals of the dream if i wait too long. i have maybe and hour or so time window when i can write it into my notebook so that when i read it later it'll still have a strong imprint in my head.

second part of lucid dreaming i'm now going on to is reality checks. the first reality check i started doing was turning my phone on and off about three times and looking at the clock & temperature each time. however, i found this to be very annoying and wasn't always the most convenient simply because at work i don't have the phone on me and it can get pretty busy. so i've decided to do three different reality checks. the first is holding my nose and mouth while attempting to breathe. this is simple, takes maybe five seconds. if i can't breathe, whoop-de-do i'm in amurricca. if i can breathe, i'm probably dreaming unless i grew gills. second one is taking a moment to backtrack in my mind of events that have happened in the past couple hours. if i can recall what happened to a good bit back then i'm not dreaming. if there are holes in my memory where things just don't make sense, i am dreaming. lastly, probably the easiest one, is to just become conscious. or rather, super-aware of your surroundings. heighten my senses, take extra focus to see if everything is in order. not sure if this one will really work since it's something i made up myself but meh. hardest part of these is actually remembering to do them but i figure once i habituate my brain to do these a fair amount of times per day i'll end up trying to do it in my dream and go lucid!

oh god i can't wait to flllyyy :))))

isn't it strange how our dream memories feel just as real as our "real" memories?

oh shit! i've been forgetting to take pictures of myself every day! shibal. there goes like... three months

i hate having to read a full chapter in one day. i need to start reading one section per day or something. break it down. had to read five sections in one day and started to get frustrated by the fourth one. who knew reading a chapter while taking notes takes three hours. AND THEEENN mother fucking take a quiz and my notes didn't cover it. that just sucks ass. rageface. fuck. at least i still feel good knowing that 90% of the class prolly hasn't read shit.