///DREAM
Ummmmm, something about something. Janos was in it. We... uhhhh yeah I woke up twelve hours ago. This isn't happening.
///DRUGS
So, I just got back from working out and recently started taking a pre-workout supplement. I didn't really feel much at first but once I started to work out I could feel the difference. I didn't really feel energized but rather more focused on just pushing myself to the limit. It was a lot easier to get myself to cross that line of stopping until the next set and pushing myself until I couldn't do one more. This is how I should be working out but I was never focused enough to do it. It didn't make me feel nearly a cracked out but like I said just really focused on the workout task on hand. I suppose this would be similar to what Adderall might feel like? I'll keep on using it cuz I think it'll get me some results quick. Must, get, better, at, basketball. Focus focus focus.
I don't like drinking coffee and Red Bulls cuz it makes me feel so cracked out and really not myself if I happen to take too much. I just get all jittery and it isn't fun. When I get just the right amount work becomes really easy, I'm happier, friendlier, and my conversations with customers flow much more smoothly. The only thing that doesn't make me feel like I'm drugged is probably Molly, the bigger drug out of 'em. In the end I'm always glad to know that I have a strong enough mind to not NEED anything to function day to day.
I think I got a pretty big long-term goal set. I like it. I hope it pans out. It'll probably take around ten years but I see a sliver of light at the end of the tunnel.
///REVOLUTION
A friend of mine asked me why I didn't stand up for this whole revolution occurring by Occupy and the rise that Anonymous is calling for. I live a life of somewhat apathy. I can't commit my life to a cause like this. As much as people say, "one person can make a difference" and I believe that, but I know that person won't be me. Also, I believe there is a flow to everything. Everything on Earth just flows naturally. Sure there are hiccups along the way but they smooth themselves out eventually. Instead of being an anonymous face in a crowd of thousands for one cause I would rather see tangible changes first-hand in the people I know. It makes for a more fulfilling life in my opinion.
I want this so badly. To just CONNECT with people. Figure out what they're all about. Most people life their life a certain way without direction because they've never put into words and defined clearly what they believe. Everyone has hidden belief systems lying internally that they live by. It's tricky to figure out why people do the things they do but it's worthwhile to figure out your systems. Life is much easier when you have long-term goals set. I've already defined my life mantra and meaning to life and that is to just love and live. Many people will say "Duh." However, it's one thing to know it and another thing to live it. The only thing I fear the most about the way I live is that people might take advantage of how kind I am. I'm afraid that one day, I'll be too kind to someone and I'll be backstabbed. At the same time, I'm able to shrug off just about anything that happens to me.
What the fuck is wrong with my short-term memory nowadays? I'm not sure whether it's because I'm more conscious of my thoughts than before, if it's always been like this, or if it's because of something that's changed in my brain. It's been like this the past week but I haven't done anything differently. Maybe it's my lack of sleep? I'll have to figure it out. It's really annoying.
Ummmmm, something about something. Janos was in it. We... uhhhh yeah I woke up twelve hours ago. This isn't happening.
///DRUGS
So, I just got back from working out and recently started taking a pre-workout supplement. I didn't really feel much at first but once I started to work out I could feel the difference. I didn't really feel energized but rather more focused on just pushing myself to the limit. It was a lot easier to get myself to cross that line of stopping until the next set and pushing myself until I couldn't do one more. This is how I should be working out but I was never focused enough to do it. It didn't make me feel nearly a cracked out but like I said just really focused on the workout task on hand. I suppose this would be similar to what Adderall might feel like? I'll keep on using it cuz I think it'll get me some results quick. Must, get, better, at, basketball. Focus focus focus.
I don't like drinking coffee and Red Bulls cuz it makes me feel so cracked out and really not myself if I happen to take too much. I just get all jittery and it isn't fun. When I get just the right amount work becomes really easy, I'm happier, friendlier, and my conversations with customers flow much more smoothly. The only thing that doesn't make me feel like I'm drugged is probably Molly, the bigger drug out of 'em. In the end I'm always glad to know that I have a strong enough mind to not NEED anything to function day to day.
I think I got a pretty big long-term goal set. I like it. I hope it pans out. It'll probably take around ten years but I see a sliver of light at the end of the tunnel.
///REVOLUTION
A friend of mine asked me why I didn't stand up for this whole revolution occurring by Occupy and the rise that Anonymous is calling for. I live a life of somewhat apathy. I can't commit my life to a cause like this. As much as people say, "one person can make a difference" and I believe that, but I know that person won't be me. Also, I believe there is a flow to everything. Everything on Earth just flows naturally. Sure there are hiccups along the way but they smooth themselves out eventually. Instead of being an anonymous face in a crowd of thousands for one cause I would rather see tangible changes first-hand in the people I know. It makes for a more fulfilling life in my opinion.
I want this so badly. To just CONNECT with people. Figure out what they're all about. Most people life their life a certain way without direction because they've never put into words and defined clearly what they believe. Everyone has hidden belief systems lying internally that they live by. It's tricky to figure out why people do the things they do but it's worthwhile to figure out your systems. Life is much easier when you have long-term goals set. I've already defined my life mantra and meaning to life and that is to just love and live. Many people will say "Duh." However, it's one thing to know it and another thing to live it. The only thing I fear the most about the way I live is that people might take advantage of how kind I am. I'm afraid that one day, I'll be too kind to someone and I'll be backstabbed. At the same time, I'm able to shrug off just about anything that happens to me.
What the fuck is wrong with my short-term memory nowadays? I'm not sure whether it's because I'm more conscious of my thoughts than before, if it's always been like this, or if it's because of something that's changed in my brain. It's been like this the past week but I haven't done anything differently. Maybe it's my lack of sleep? I'll have to figure it out. It's really annoying.
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