Dreams, myself, and girls
///DREAM
February 27th, 2011
I remember, once again, going on some sort of date. Tough to remember much about the dream since I'm writing this a day later but I remember I was above an ocean flying around and Janos was holding up a target. I aimed for it and missed and dove as if I just jumped off a diving board. I went straight into the ocean and was able to touch the bottom of the ocean floor. I remember thinking, "Oh, shit I'm going to drown!" I tried to breathe underwater and I was able to which makes no sense but it's a dream. Eventually I got top the top and Janos asked me if I got to the bottom.
February 28th, 2011
Shit, I barely remember anything of today's dream. I knew I should've written it down earlier. I remember traveling around with a group of people and getting attacked by some monsters or something. Man, it was a really good dream too.
///PERSONALITY
Over the past few months I've discovered something about myself that I somewhat fear. While I'm very easily nice to strangers and people I don't know all too well I am capable of quickly lashing out in anger at the people closest to me. It happens a lot at home. It may have a direct correlation to the fact that I'm trying to cope with the stress of school and work at the same time but it's disturbing nonetheless. I guess when I'm at home I just want to sit and reflect on my day instead of having to deal with parents even though all they want to do is chat a little. I feel they just nag at me. Hopefully this is a healthy amount of annoyance from stress instead of a part of me.
So, over the summer I started to workout in order to improve my health, self-confidence, and to get better at basketball. I achieved two of the three. I still suck at basketball hahaha fml. I need to start focusing more while I play ball more often and put forth more effort into each play. In terms of improving my health I feel a lot more energized throughout the day despite getting about an hour less of sleep than I used to. A lot of daily tasks are easier to accomplish, especially ones that require physical effort. I still need to work on getting my cardio up. People giving advice on how to boost your self-confidence weren't lying when they said to start working out and dressing better. I feel like I'm more comfortable around people now but it's still excruciating sometimes. I just hope that my improved confidence come off as being cocky to people. That's the last thing I could want. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't working out to meet a girl either. Just trying to wait and see if this newfound confidence will help me act myself next time around. They say third time's a charm, right?
///GIRLS
I used to be somewhat embarrassed that I had never had a girlfriend nor kissed a girl (even writing that on a public site was kind of hard but I'm not sure anyone reads this and anyone that does is someone that obviously wants to know me so I'll pour it all out here. I don't think I used this little parentheses correctly, oh well! No grammar nazis here.) Fortunately for me I have grown accustomed to answering these questions without hesitation. I just feel good knowing that the day that I meet the one girl will make it all worth it. Despite my wanting to live life as a hedonist sometimes, I can't make myself go for girls just to have someone. I don't understand the point of having a relationship if you know it won't last. It would probably be in the back of my mind buried in my subconscious. The only reason I may want to be in a relationship like that is to learn how to interact, but that's far from what I want right now.
February 27th, 2011
I remember, once again, going on some sort of date. Tough to remember much about the dream since I'm writing this a day later but I remember I was above an ocean flying around and Janos was holding up a target. I aimed for it and missed and dove as if I just jumped off a diving board. I went straight into the ocean and was able to touch the bottom of the ocean floor. I remember thinking, "Oh, shit I'm going to drown!" I tried to breathe underwater and I was able to which makes no sense but it's a dream. Eventually I got top the top and Janos asked me if I got to the bottom.
February 28th, 2011
Shit, I barely remember anything of today's dream. I knew I should've written it down earlier. I remember traveling around with a group of people and getting attacked by some monsters or something. Man, it was a really good dream too.
///PERSONALITY
Over the past few months I've discovered something about myself that I somewhat fear. While I'm very easily nice to strangers and people I don't know all too well I am capable of quickly lashing out in anger at the people closest to me. It happens a lot at home. It may have a direct correlation to the fact that I'm trying to cope with the stress of school and work at the same time but it's disturbing nonetheless. I guess when I'm at home I just want to sit and reflect on my day instead of having to deal with parents even though all they want to do is chat a little. I feel they just nag at me. Hopefully this is a healthy amount of annoyance from stress instead of a part of me.
So, over the summer I started to workout in order to improve my health, self-confidence, and to get better at basketball. I achieved two of the three. I still suck at basketball hahaha fml. I need to start focusing more while I play ball more often and put forth more effort into each play. In terms of improving my health I feel a lot more energized throughout the day despite getting about an hour less of sleep than I used to. A lot of daily tasks are easier to accomplish, especially ones that require physical effort. I still need to work on getting my cardio up. People giving advice on how to boost your self-confidence weren't lying when they said to start working out and dressing better. I feel like I'm more comfortable around people now but it's still excruciating sometimes. I just hope that my improved confidence come off as being cocky to people. That's the last thing I could want. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't working out to meet a girl either. Just trying to wait and see if this newfound confidence will help me act myself next time around. They say third time's a charm, right?
///GIRLS
I used to be somewhat embarrassed that I had never had a girlfriend nor kissed a girl (even writing that on a public site was kind of hard but I'm not sure anyone reads this and anyone that does is someone that obviously wants to know me so I'll pour it all out here. I don't think I used this little parentheses correctly, oh well! No grammar nazis here.) Fortunately for me I have grown accustomed to answering these questions without hesitation. I just feel good knowing that the day that I meet the one girl will make it all worth it. Despite my wanting to live life as a hedonist sometimes, I can't make myself go for girls just to have someone. I don't understand the point of having a relationship if you know it won't last. It would probably be in the back of my mind buried in my subconscious. The only reason I may want to be in a relationship like that is to learn how to interact, but that's far from what I want right now.
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