mac's cheesy thoughts

///FUTURE                  Been a while since I've tried to look at my life at an over-the-shoulder type of view. I feel I've come such a long way and my dream is so close but I can hardly grasp it. (Great Gatsby film heh) I thought I knew what I wanted but it always seems that in order to efficiently do what I want to I need money. There has to be another way, right? I don't understand because sometimes I do believe that money will pave the way but other times I believe the infinite energy I, and anyone else, can bring to others is more than enough. The wellspring of inspiration, hope, and love a person can bring. I struggle to find a way to make myself the person I want to become and have the adventure I wish. I need to focus and find a goal that will motivate me to drive myself towards it. ///FOCUS                I continually lack focus. I think I'm getting better towards it but it is a massive u...

///HAPPINESS STEP 1 Living in a western culture where individuality seems to be hammered down until you're nothing but a cookie-cutter version of a stereotype is hard. This was especially poignant throughout middle school and high school, where kids started to form clicks and learned to start judging others. There was such an immense pressure to always be something you weren't. I thought something was wrong with ME not the culture/bubble of high school I was in. And so, I went through much of high school in a daze of wondering what the hell was going on. I slept through class, had laughs with some friends here and there, but felt out of it most of the time. I could consider these years my lost years. High school was hell to me where it was competition to see who could be the best. Jump to my first year in college and inside *Daniel Lim's car from my dorm off to somewhere. I don't remember where we were going anymore but that doesn't matter anymore. He was taki...