mac's cheesy thoughts

///STOPPED TAKING MY MEDICATION                  (Been a long while. Hopefully this changes and I'm inspired to write here more)               Not too long ago (maybe at most two months) I self-diagnosed myself to taking lamotrigine just once a day instead of the usual twice a day. For some odd reason it seemed that taking it that way worked better for me in terms of drinking alcohol the day after. I felt no difference in effects and it would be cheaper this way. Prescription costs ~$125 a month which is no joke. Taking it once a day effectively halved the price of it. No harm to me and it made perfect sense. Done.                Fast forward Tomorrowworld which was the weekend of 9/25-27 and all my shit got jacked. Whatever, I really didn't mind. (Which I'm still pretty amazed about. I'm glad I don't harbor attachment to physical objects. Sucks that I lost my jo...

///ADVENTURE            Three years I've been toiling. The first two and a half years were some years of immense personal growth. Spiritually, socially, physically, mentally, academically, even financially (although, that is more financial stability than actual increase in monetary amounts.) I only feel work is holding me back in all my ambition for the things I want to do. My only hope is that I am able to keep focused on my goals and actualize my thoughts into the real world. It's a slow process and I'm not even sure if I'm headed towards a net positive in that particular area lately.            Maybe I just need a break for a while. Is my lack of focus from the copious (significantly cut down now) amount of drugs I've done? Is it the Keppra that's fucking me up? I always seem to come out feeling very content for a few months after a good trip. It's been almost a year, is that why I lack focus? Is it bec...